Top 10 Ways To Tell You're A New Dad
by foreverwacky
Summary: Basicly, James' life as a new dad...Oh the Horror! Please Read & Review!
1. Six Hours of Sleep is a Privelege

Top 10 Ways To Tell You're A New Dad

1. Getting six hours of sleep is a privelege.

**12:34**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I'll get it," said Lily, half asleep. She pulled the blanket off of herself and tried to make her way towards the door, but only got three steps before tripping over the dropped blanket.

"Here. _I'll_ get it," James told her. "You have your Auror test tommorow, tonight I'll be you."

Trudging along down the hall, he sung Harry a quiet lullaby that put him to sleep rather quickly.

**1:24**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

James opened his eyes slowly. This time, Lily had not even moved in the slightest, except to cover her ears with her pillow. He sighed, and once more made his way down the hall.

This time, Harry had dropped his pacifier. "Here you go," James tried to coo, but it came out groggily.

Almost immediatly, Harry was once again asleep.

**2:06**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

This time, James didn't bother to open his eyes. Instead, he found the familiar route, except for a slight crash on the door frame.

Harry was lying contently in his crib, gurgling. "Yes?" Harry blinked, then smiled.

After James changed his diaper, he made his way back to bed.

**3:01**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

James' arm reached out from beneath the covers and tried to shut off his alarm. After realising his alarm wasn't going off, he sullenly trudged back to baby Harry's room.

After doing what needed to be done, he tried to make it back to bed but instead collapsed against the wall and fell asleep right there.

**4:22**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

James crawled slowly to Harry's room, then tried to pick himself up by holding onto the crib.

This time, he actually made it to his bedroom door before crashing.

**5:49**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

James sludged his way down the hall, picked up Harry and began rocking him back and forth until Harry was content once more.

Then he fell asleep in the crib with him.

**6:28**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

James tried, once again to reach for his alarm clock, but apparantly it wasn't there. He opened his sleepy eyes to dicover a disgruntled Harry being held too tight for his liking.

He loosened his grip, crawled back to his own bed and crashed seconds later.

**7:29**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Harry set off at the same time Lily's alarm went. James made a move to get up, but Lily pushed him down and said, "I'll get Harry, I'm up now anyways. And thank you, so much James, for letting me sleep." She kissed him on the cheek.

"No problem, he barely cried." James told her. "And you know me, I don't tire easily." He grinned, then fell asleep once more.

**Love it? Hate it? Unsure? Review! **

**(I figured I had to come out with something before school starts. If it's good, It'll have nine more chapters, hence the Top 10 part of it. Okays?)**

**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW**


	2. The Normality of Things

Chapter Two: The sentence, "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" sounds normal.

"Hey there Mr Grumpy Gills!" called a voice from beside James' head. He attempted to smack it, but the owner of the voice carefully dodged the flying hand.

"Hey, I always said too much sleep is bad for you. It's FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON WAKE UP ALREADY PRONGS!" the voice continued.

"You never said that Padfoot," James grinned as he sat up. "Where's Moony and Wormtail?"

"Well, Moony is taking care of the baby you forgot about, and I dunno where Wormtail is." Sirius scratched his head thoughtfully.

"Damn it! Harry!" James nearly jumped straight to the ceiling.

"No worries, mate," said Sirius casually. "We have taken care of the boy, he seems to particularly like Moony, for some strange reason..."

Just then Remus walked through the door holding Harry. "Just woke from his nap. Late night, Prongs?" He grinned.

"Hahaha," said James sourly, still feeling tired after his nighttime ordeal.

"Well Lily should be back any minute now, so no worries, eh? I wonder if she passed her Auror test..." Remus trailed off as Lily popped suddenly into the room.

"Don't tire easily, right?" She teased James, giving him a kiss hello.

"Did I say that? I meant-er.." James stuttered.

"Save it. I just want you up and ready for tonight." Lily told him.

"Oh, yeah, right, tonight." James froze in horror. What was tonight?

"What's tonight?" asked Sirius, echoeing James' thoughts.

"I have to go freshen up, you can tell him James," Lily said, walking out of the room to the bathroom.

"So, Prongs, what's tonight?" Remus asked.

"Er...well, we're going out and.." The more he stuttered the larger Sirius' grin got.

"You don't know." Remus said, flatly. James nodded. "Ah, well it is to be expected, it's the male nature. But thankfully, you have friends who do remember...it's your anniversary."

"What? Oh no..I don't have a gift!" James began panicking.

Remus shifted Harry who was gazing at the three men with curious eyes. "Taking her out to the restaurant was part of it, the other part was the bracelet that you'll find in your nightstand."

James checked. There was a beautiful gold bracelet with a beautiful floral design. So he was safe. For now.

Later, Remus and Sirius were sending the two off, promising the house would not be completely trashed when they arrived home. James snuck in to give a quick hug to Harry, but when he tried to back away, he found Harry's foot was caught in his pocket. "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" This was a normal frase by now.

"Darling, I didn't know you cared." Sirius fluttered his eyelashes, he had been holding Harry at the time.

"I meant Lily."

"Oh, poo."

After Lily took Harry's foot out of James' pocket, Sirius and Remus started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Lily and James asked at the same time.

"Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" Sirius quipped.

"It sounds hilarious!" Remus added.

Lily rolled her eyes at the immature boys and tugged James out of the house where they apparated to the restaurant.

**So...chapter two such a big accomplishment! Now do you like this one? hate it? unsure? aha. well REVIEW! I remember when my uncle said that to my aunt once when he was holding my little baby cousin...now that was hilarious for everyone there and it sounded NORMAL to them. Scary thought.**

**And thanks you to my reviewers:**

**silverpheonix2**

**emerald princess3**

**britney lauren**

**machiavelli jr**

**strega**

**seekergirl17**


	3. Handicapped

**Chapter Three: You're Used To Doing Everything One-Handed**

After another tiring night James woke up to bright sunlight streaming on his face. Lily was not beside him, so she had probably gotten up the last time Harry cried and did not go back to sleep. He sat up, yawning, stretching and falling out of bed all at the same time, and padded along to the kitchen where he found Lily feeding Harry.

She looked so beautiful, even when her long red hair was scraggely (?) and she had large bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. James stood in the doorframe watching her for several minutes before she felt his eyes on her.

Looking up, Lily smiled at him, her tiredness masked. "Would you like to make some breakfast, dear?" She asked, a yawn slipping through.

"Sure." He smiled.

Things were calm for awhile with all of them eating, until Sirius and Remus arrived and starting making noise.

When questioned exactly why they were there, they both answered wide-eyed innocently, "To build Harry's future tree house of course." while Lily rolled her eyes.

Sirius piped in, "We're even doing it the muggle way!"

James decided to help-more to supervise the two, but it ended up being quite fun, until he noticed Remus giving him strange looks while Sirius sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to himself.

James had no idea why he was on the receiving end of these strange looks-until a huge board collapsed on top of him, that he had been trying to hammer together. After examining it, he couldn't figure out why it fell.

"Try holding it-you need both your hands remember?" Remus slipped into his thoughts.

"Ha ha ha." James responded.

"Looks like someone's really adjusting to his baby," Sirius grinned, pretending he had even noticed.

Hey! Sorry about the very, very long wait-but I was actually a lot busier than I thought I was going to be. Next chapter should come sometime next week--I definately won't leave it for such a long time again, okay? Now REVIEW! ;)


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